Why is everyone else so chalant about things?
My hunch is it’s a mix of projections and unrealistic expectations. My mom, for example, speaks not in terms of who her daughter is or what her daughter does so much as in terms of who her daughter’s boyfriend is and what he does.
I am of little value in a universe with such currency when I’m living independently and single, so it shook her world the other day at my mere breathing of the possible reality that hey, things might not work out, and here’s this other thing I want to do if they don’t.
She could hardly get a word out and I assumed it was one big “…welp!” because I’m always down for relocating and it’s never a surprise to anyone at this point.
But… I found out from my dad that she was beside herself for a few days for a more specific reason, and when I asked her about it, she timidly stammered, “Well… I thought Peter was the one for you, is all…” Which translates from momspeak to plain English as, “What would I tell my friends?!”
It’s cool. Nobody has said it to me in a demeaning way, so it comes from a place of caring and / or concern.