I just had a conversation about this sort of thing with Peter in regards to my parents and never feeling human around them because they literally refuse to empathize or validate their kids’ feelings — they will throw a million unsolicited suggestions or “solutions” our way, they’ll even quip, “you’ve just gotta get over it, move on…” but never hit it at the heart of matters, which is simply being like, “fuck, that really does suck. I’m sorry you’re hurting.” or further, “…and I know you’ll get past it, but in the meantime, I’m here to vent.”
It’s like instant sunshine and rainbows when loved ones do this, and it’s so easy, but whether it’s cultural or generational or just a decision they made in regards to emotional boundaries with their kids, my parents would sooner write a novel of suggestions than drop a simple one-liner acknowledgment of feelings.
And the thing is, yes, people sort things out; boo-boos heal over time, we get over it and out of situations or out from under storm clouds on our own ALL THE TIME… or we die, whatever. But while we’re here, being humans, I find it so, SO important to connect through empathy rather than to be / be faced with a wall of suggestions.
I used to have the tendency to do what my parents did when friends were bummed but learned that it isn’t what works for the kinds of people I respect or want to connect with nor for the kind of respect or connections I want.
Acknowledge feelings, then find out whether and how they’d like you to help.
They are Clarks Wallabees in beeswax leather (waxed nubuck). They make them for men and women.
There’s a Clarks shop in Austin at Barton Creek Square (that’s where I got those; I like to try on and hand-pick, I guess…), and also there is the entire Internet for deals and home delivery since driving
in Austin anywhere is rarely a good time!
Either I’m losing my brain or there are some weird app issues going on with Tumblr and with Instagram-to-Tumblr. Photos that weren’t supposed to post to Tumblr did, yesterday and today, and then a map image that I cropped down to show just the walking distance showed the full uncropped map view.
My eyes are so sensitive to sunlight that I couldn’t see this when I tried.
saw this at work
So many cool things going on in this shot. I met up with Peter in Chelsea last week to grab dinner and then dance to these guys. The venue is neither atop the Highline nor a ballroom, but you know what they say… horseshoes, hand grenades, highline ballroom. It was the kiddo’s first show and the evening went without a hitch. These are important.
Digitalism @ Highline Ballroom
Here is what you need to know.
Work-in-progress design I did this week for a very special Brewskee-Ball shirt.
I think I am devoting
too muchthe perfect amount of time to this sport.
I miss the Austin brewskee-ball league…! Mayyyybe next season will be my first one playing for Brooklyn.